54-46 Was My Number

Greetings dear readers,

In case it wasn't already clear, YTMND is not closing on May 1st. We've had a number of servers die over the last year, but I haven't given up on you miscreants yet.

We *do* need some new hardware though, and we're going to be doing a sponsorship drive this week to fund a new server. More details inside.


I've purchased a server (on credit, heh) for the purpose of running virtual machines. This way I can run the wiki, chat server, a db slave, the bug tracker, a development server, etc as virtual servers which will be much easier to deal with and much cheaper than dedicated servers. There are currently four dead servers, and I have no idea what to do with them, as they are from 2006-2008 and not worth more than a few hundred dollars each on ebay. Maybe we'll make them contest prizes (I just sent off MrSinistar's address to the data-center for winning this contest!).

Once this server is in place, I can retire a number of other servers which are old and failing. I'm currently hosting some stuff temporarily through EC2, which is nice, but it's too expensive for long-term hosting. Luckily with decreases in traffic and increases in server hardware capabilities, one virtualization server should be able to cover a lot of bases.

With decreases in traffic come decreases in revenue, and YTMND isn't as profitable as it used to be. Adblock usage grows steadily, and YTMND's business model was never really sustainable to begin with. YTMND is still technically profitable, but at the current rate, it would take 6-10 months to pay off the server. So at this point, YTMND is very much a labor of love (and a bit of hate). It's been a while since we've needed to do a sponsorship drive, but hopefully the few remaining users will be able to pool together some scraps to tide us over for a while (and help me avoid destroying my credit rating).

I'm starting the sponsorship drive to count any sponsorship from last month as well, since a lot of them were made with the intention of keeping YTMND alive. I am guessing we may not reach the total goal, but the less burden the cost of running YTMND lands on my personal wallet, the more likely it will be that YTMND stays up for a long time. Using the old hardware as a measurement, this server should last us at least 8 more years, assuming we can pay for hosting!

Below are the stats for the server and the current sponsorship drive goals, which I'll update manually as they change. The user with the highest total sponsorship at the end of the drive will have the opportunity to name the server. You will receive a photograph of the server (with your nametag!) as well as monthly updates on its well being, and a letter written in crayon from the server.


What we're getting:
  • Dual Opteron 4274 HE processors at 2.5GHz for a total core count of 16
  • 64GB of DDR3 1600MHZ ECC memory
  • 2x3TB drives in RAID 1 for general storage
  • 1x240GB SSD for system/speedy partitions
  • 1 Hardware RAID card.
  • 1U case with dual-redundant power supplies


The goal:      $3747.01
Current total: $427.37  (excl. $33.15 in fees)
What's left:   $3319.64 (88.59% to go)

Current highest sponsor: madDogSoldier ($145.18 total sponsored)


Additionally, I want to have contests more often and run for shorter periods of time to keep creativity stewing. Please post your contest ideas so I can queue them up!

Apr 23, 2012
Mar 31, 2013
Apr 26, 2013
Feb 24, 2014
Apr 01, 2014

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<< 1 2 >>
April 26th, 2013
1st
(35)
Also, I really hope the new server doesn't end up being named something dumb like "Moon Man"..
April 26th, 2013
2nd
(-3)
[ comment is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(-3)
YTMND litecoin fund: LSwK4y5wm5WwFdyWUbuomaVpfqPyoZbfzq
April 26th, 2013
3rd
(0)
[ comment is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(0)
Vanilla Double Stuffed Oreos.
April 26th, 2013
13th
(-3)
[ comment (and 1 replies) is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(-3)
hows about "mr.krabs?"
April 26th, 2013
22nd
(-5)
[ comment (and 1 replies) is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(-5)
That's a fine name for a new server/
April 26th, 2013
23rd
(10)
Well there goes my sponsorship. I'll go spend the 10k I have saved up on an animatronic Mac Tonight, fuck you max.
April 27th, 2013
37th
(2)
I was saving for that as well, and no joke.
April 27th, 2013
45th
(5)
I really think "Picard Song" is the only way to go with a name.
April 27th, 2013
46th
(-6)
[ comment is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(-6)
MAX THE NAME FOR YOUR NEW SERVER


NIPA


for more information see
www.nipa.ytmnd.com
April 28th, 2013
92nd
(3)
I don't think anyone who can give you serious money would do that. I bet most of the moon kkkrew is either under the age of 17 or is in an institution
October 27th, 2013
288th
(1)
this site will be killed™
April 26th, 2013
4th
(1)
We should have a contest using my awesome dog Rocky somehow and the prize can be one of Rocky's used Frisbees.
April 26th, 2013
5th
(1)
You make 3-4 thousand dollars off ytmnd every 6-10 months?!?!? holy shit...
April 26th, 2013
6th
(-1)
[ comment (and 4 replies) is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(-1)
"With decreases in traffic come decreases in revenue, and YTMND isn't as profitable as it used to be."
April 26th, 2013
7th
(5)
Does this mean we won't be getting those DVDs???
April 26th, 2013
9th
(14)
That was a joke, but an alarming number of people seem interested in purchasing one.
April 26th, 2013
27th
(6)
It could be used to raise money, perhaps.
May 1st, 2013
136th
(8)
Rips of movies and TV shows with bad edits and picture quality re-converted to movie files and sold for a profit.

Sounds legit.
April 26th, 2013
10th
(7)
What about new YTMND shirts???
April 26th, 2013
11th
(6)
No one was buying the old ones. I still have a bunch of them actually.
April 26th, 2013
12th
(16)
there was a lot of cool shirt designs people made. you should have had some of those printed up and added them to the store. the old classic one was still cool too, though : )
April 26th, 2013
30th
(2)
"Logged in to 5 this"
April 26th, 2013
19th
(6)
I'd actually like to get one of those. I thought about it back when the store was open but heard of complaints from people not getting them so I backed out. If we sponsor a site for a certain amount, could we request one of your leftovers?
April 27th, 2013
35th
(2)
Can I still buy a couple of the ones you've still got left? The one I got in 2005 is getting worn out...
April 27th, 2013
41st
(2)
Since I got myself a job, I'm no longer a worthless student living in my parent's basement who spends his lunch money on drugs and cheap beer, complaining about how the government is aliens and ancient worldwide conspiracy organizations are after my Sailor Moon figurines.

No wait, I never did any of that. I was a worthless student though.
That is, I finally have the money to buy YTMND merch and spend money on this site not dying. If you can ship internationally, I'd buy a shirt. And a keychain. Especially the keychain.
April 28th, 2013
70th
(3)
sorry to talk in this but im just wondering why i was banned from the forms
May 7th, 2013
184th
(2)
I would be so down to buy a shirt
April 27th, 2013
60th
(2)
We need some Moon Man shirts
April 28th, 2013
89th
(0)
[ comment is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(0)
Moon Man merchandise would be awesome, though McDonalds wouldn't be too happy.
July 9th, 2013
236th
(2)
here's what you do - make your own design - submit it to a t-shirt printer and pay for however many you feel like paying for
April 29th, 2013
95th
(3)
I would want a YTMND shirt too. Like fourest said, people submitted some really cool designs.
April 26th, 2013
15th
(5)
I know! Our parents could give us the money!! Horay parents!
April 26th, 2013
16th
(2)
Also, how do I give stars? Max why can't I rate your YTMND?
April 26th, 2013
17th
(4)
dick comparing contest
April 26th, 2013
20th
(2)
build a ytmnd datacenter
April 26th, 2013
25th
(6)
Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation or any nation so conceived and so dedicated can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting-place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. But in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead who struggled here have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living rather to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us--that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion--that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain, that this nation under God shall have a new birth of freedom, and that government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth.
April 26th, 2013
26th
(2)
I like the contest idea max. Good stuff
April 27th, 2013
38th
(2)
"So at this point, YTMND is very much a labor of love (and a bit of hate)."

I know you can't pay off a server with thank yous, but since it weighs nothing and takes up no space, thank you.
April 27th, 2013
42nd
(4)
contest: the battle for control of cyberspace via the virtual servers
April 27th, 2013
43rd
(14)
In light of recent events, we should have a Boston Baked Beans contest. Make a site about anything Boston related; whether it's about the marathon, tea parties, the band Boston, talking dogs and bacon, etc.

Winner gets their legs blown off.
April 27th, 2013
44th
(7)
[spoil]Guitar Hero 4[/spoil]
April 27th, 2013
51st
(4)
This place was once a happenin' joint, a "watercooler site" if you will. People used to waste time at work forwarding YTMND's to their annoyed office colleagues. It came out at a critical time when more and more casual users were getting on the internet and looking for a source of quick single-serving entertainment. This site could have made millions, or even billions with a little vision, but now he has to beg for money to buy hardware inferior to what I put into my desktop that I rarely use. I kinda feel for bad him, really.

max how does it feel knowing you missed your chance to be Mark Zuckerberg?
April 27th, 2013
53rd
(2)
"not worth more than a few hundred dollars each on ebay."

If that's true liquidating those would certainly count as some fraction towards the cost. If the shirts are dead inventory why not do a PBS style "free gift" for your contribution of ___$ ... etc. Also, I think many would prefer
light, proactive moderation to naming a computer... eh? eh?
April 27th, 2013
56th
(1)
Thank you for mentioning me.

Right now, my job is in a precarious position. Some turbulence up ahead. If I am still employed as of May 15th, I will donate some more.
April 27th, 2013
59th
(-1)
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(-1)
contest: the most origonal site wins. or has that been done
April 28th, 2013
76th
(12)
IP ban temporaryarm (aka gr33nscr33n)
March 21st, 2016
311th
(0)
I SO AGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Suzanne's ban was unjust!!!!!!!!!

Those who try to dox or lobby to ban Suzanne activists deserve a ban too!
April 28th, 2013
85th
(2)
the prize for highest sponsor should be a permaban
April 28th, 2013
86th
(2)
oh hi
April 28th, 2013
87th
(5)
heyyy... get outta here.
April 28th, 2013
91st
(0)
[ comment is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(0)
Moon Man is awesome
April 29th, 2013
100th
(3)
I've had no job in 6 months, I refused to work the streets, but I'll do it for you max....I'll do it for you.
April 29th, 2013
112th
(2)
Haven't worked a real job in almost a year, but I made my contribution.
As for contest ideas, how about some that go back to YTMND's roots. Rules could be something like, "Must be <2000kb total" or "'Classic' style YTMNDs only" or "No animated gifs". That would help lower the bar for new users who aren't mini-.gif movie experts.
April 29th, 2013
113th
(4)
thanks for your sponsorship.

In case you are interested, in case you do not already have something like after effects, you can actually download anything from the cs2 suite for free:

http://www.adobe.com/downloads/cs2_downloads/

(both windows and mac versions)

Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to knock any of your ideas, just presenting more options
April 29th, 2013
114th
(3)
Thanks for the tip! I think for YTMNDs I've mostly been working with tools off of this list for years: http://ytmndtoolkit.ytmnd.com/ .

I agree that the more options the better! It does, though, feel like compared to the earlier days of YTMND the bar to gaining front page status has risen beyond reach for newer users. I'm sure the bigger problem is actually downvoters who discourage unfamiliar users. I just thought that running some short contests which focus less on execution and more on ideas would be a nice way to get some fresh ideas flowing.
May 1st, 2013
125th
(-1)
[ comment (and 1 replies) is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(-1)
Moon Man is awesome
May 1st, 2013
128th
(4)
hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!
love and waffles,
t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m
May 1st, 2013
131st
(1)
^ crackcocaineman
May 1st, 2013
142nd
(1)
God this copypasta is so fucking old
May 1st, 2013
141st
(0)
UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH! UH HUH!
May 2nd, 2013
149th
(3)
some people say things for cheap attention or just to hear themselves talk
May 7th, 2013
187th
(2)
Lol, why are you acting high and mighty all the sudden? You are such a fag hahaha.
3 replies hidden 
May 2nd, 2013
154th
(1)
But what is going on in the swamp?
May 3rd, 2013
157th
(3)
77 was my number
May 3rd, 2013
160th
(5)
Moon Man is awesome
May 5th, 2013
171st
(1)
Right now someone else has that number.
July 31st, 2020
268th
(0)
I wonder if this guy is dead
May 6th, 2013
175th
(2)
just name it after me and get it over with
May 7th, 2013
180th
(1)
Why? Your profile page says "$0.00 sponsorships made".
May 7th, 2013
185th
(2)
ytmnd sponsorships are not something to be proud of, you nerd.
3 replies hidden 
May 7th, 2013
183rd
(2)
I spent WAY too much time on the sites I made (not to mention YTMND itself) for them to disappear into the internet void forever. Even if they were optimized for IE6 and don't sync correctly anymore. I'll be contributing.
May 8th, 2013
192nd
(-1)
i don't mean to, like, brag or whatever - don't mean to be a dick - but since i joined in '08 ive donated:

$239.90

with this lickitwellhiem account, received

$101.17

(i RARELY sponsored my own sites, so expect a low cross-sponsor-numbers-tally-thingy there)

$9.98

with rug, received

$42.11

not to mention anonymous sponsorships i've made.
OOOooo, received

$12.50 with AdenaCrawl.

i've given money!!!! LOOK AT MEEEEE!!!!! remember when i wanted to have my name in purple?
sorry everyone, i've really been an erratic bitch over the years. i was doing a lot of drugs, and i'm not saying that to be funny. i've done enough for a long enough time (15+ years) so as to have to stop, or try and stop, permanently. or at least try to. staying clean is a daily struggle, really. i've been clean a while though.

money, drugs, gif, bumbys.
May 8th, 2013
193rd
(1)
http://users.content.ytmnd.com/1/8/7/187fbe85003aa5f5e9e3129fa83318e6.
png
May 8th, 2013
194th
(2)
cools
May 11th, 2013
226th
(1)
May 8th, 2013
198th
(2)
That's great, Licky. But Max is talking about recent times. Even if we play by your rules, I have donated over 600 dollars in ytmnd history.
May 8th, 2013
202nd
(4)
Grats maddog, you spent 600 bucks on a site about racism and dick jokes. Maybe you should spend that on a razor so you can trim your neck beard you nerd.
3 replies hidden 
May 13th, 2013
232nd
(0)
you like drugs me too and youre a girl????? wanna e-fuck
May 8th, 2013
207th
(2)
Moon Man is awesome
May 8th, 2013
208th
(4)
Back By Popular Demand! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cygYzauiGYA
May 9th, 2013
216th
(0)
[ comment (and 1 replies) is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(0)
max please ban nisa again he's not getting it
May 11th, 2013
222nd
(6)
bring back featured users already!
May 11th, 2013
227th
(2)
What about paying with Kiva receipts? Do they also count towards the current total? That'd be luancy! Practically, you don't receive any money that way, or do you?
May 11th, 2013
229th
(4)
Moon Man is awesom
May 13th, 2013
231st
(2)
LONG LIVE THE NSFW FORUMS AND GOD BLESS RUBYCALABER
May 14th, 2013
236th
(3)
i'm feeling generous and would like to sponsor a YTMND.COM site. max, which one do you suggest?
May 15th, 2013
244th
(1)
;n;
May 16th, 2013
248th
(0)
[ comment is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(0)
Moon Man is awesome
May 22nd, 2013
252nd
(1)
If only calendars could have a .gif of some bouncin tit's on each month that ran on a continuous loop for 730 hours, that'd be so cool. Plus ytmnd could sell them and make enough money to put some servers on the moon, what sucks though is that nothing would ever get done. Show me a guy who can willingly look away from a gif of some bouncin titties and, well I guess i'll tip my hat or some shit.
May 25th, 2013
272nd
(1)
Are you fucking kidding me? max just deleted a shitload of crap accounts and now there's even more. Someone just perma ban pilleater altogether because he's the source of all this faggotry.
June 4th, 2013
295th
(1)
WE'RE ALMOST THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ONLY

92%

2

GO~!!!!!
June 6th, 2013
300th
(3)
gay
June 10th, 2013
307th
(0)
[ comment is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(0)
still only 92% to go!! at this rate we should reach our goal by late august, early september!!
June 15th, 2013
310th
(4)
FAGGOT
June 16th, 2013
311th
(5)
An excellent way to announce your return after a year.
July 3rd, 2013
318th
(0)
[ comment is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(0)
Mr. Krabs:
Hey, who left all this crapflood spam on the front page of YTMND?

Moon Man:
I’m not crapflood spam.
I’m the fucking Moon Man
Yes the fucking Moon Man
And I’m hopin’ that they’ll upvote me.

There’s a lot of numb diggers
Who have got too much chicken
I wanna make it legal
For Klansmen to lynch ‘em

‘Cuz there’s limits to diversity
Least I hope and pray that there are
‘Cuz those mongrel coons go too far

Mr. Krabs:
Well, why can’t we just make an IP ban against black people?

Moon Man:
Because that IP ban would go against the YTMND terms of service. But if we change the YTMND terms of service…

Mr. Krabs:
Then we could make all sorts of racist IP bans!

Moon Man:
Now you’re catching on.

Mr. Krabs:
What if people say you’re not good enough to be on Up and Coming?

Moon Man:
Then I’ll crush all opposition to me
And I’ll make Max Goldberg pay
If he fights back, I’ll say that he’s Umfuld

Max Goldberg:
Good news, Moon Man! They upvoted you! You’re on Up and Coming!

Moon Man:
Oh yeah! Doors open, forced fads! KKK, KKK, KKK, KKK…
July 4th, 2013
223rd
(-3)
[ comment (and 13 replies) is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(-3)
no he didn't
July 4th, 2013
228th
(0)
my name is butt-head
July 6th, 2013
231st
(3)
http://bancakes.ytmnd.com/
July 7th, 2013
232nd
(4)
On second thought I wish I didn't get "YTMND" tattooed on my lip. The "LOL, TATTOO" on my arm is a little embarrassing. I really regret having Sean Connery tattooed on my back though. I no longer can take my shirt of in public.
July 7th, 2013
233rd
(1)
Waiting for wiki.ytmnd.com...
July 24th, 2013
261st
(1)
there are places that laser tatoos off
August 1st, 2013
264th
(3)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzoPSV4ua94
3 replies hidden 
July 11th, 2013
239th
(1)
glad to see you guys haven't canceled your Internet subscription yet
July 11th, 2013
240th
(-1)
[ comment is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(-1)
seemed redundant.
July 13th, 2013
243rd
(-3)
[ comment (and 3 replies) is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(-3)
Hey max, this is on the front page. I just figured you'd want to know because you run such a tight ship around here:

itsrainingnakedoldmen.ytmnd.com
July 19th, 2013
254th
(-1)
lol: http://ytmnd.com/sites/top_rated/alltime
July 20th, 2013
257th
(3)
I created an account for the soul purpose of donating. where do I send the check?
July 21st, 2013
258th
(1)
WHOOOO ONLY 88.59% to go WHOOOOO!!!!!!!!
July 22nd, 2013
259th
(2)
will this fix the bug that won't allow for unfaving?
July 28th, 2013
262nd
(0)
Finally set up a Twitter account @HanktheRapper
August 4th, 2013
266th
(0)
I'm curious what the highest rated and lowest rated comments are. Anyone have any idea about the highest? I'm pretty sure this is the lowest: http://ytmnd.com/sites/788025/profile/c4771514#c4771514
August 9th, 2013
267th
(-3)
I don't know, but this one is probably near the top.

http://ytmnd.com/sites/1/profile/c166897
August 28th, 2013
272nd
(4)
this will always be the best site on the internet.
August 29th, 2013
273rd
(5)
the non-working wiki is extremely annoying,
September 10th, 2013
282nd
(1)
i am drinking pumpkin beer.......
September 13th, 2013
283rd
(0)
Who was [user SRSBIZNESS:profile]?
September 14th, 2013
284th
(-3)
Yr mom.
September 15th, 2013
285th
(3)
dead site is dead.
September 30th, 2013
286th
(1)
#zeptember
October 4th, 2013
287th
(-1)
Get a real job max.....you bum
November 9th, 2013
289th
(-3)
[ comment is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(-3)
I think at this point max will only update once every year has passed. Expect his next update may or june of 2014.
November 18th, 2013
290th
(0)
[ comment is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(0)
a ytmnd user is born
November 22nd, 2013
291st
(-3)
[ comment is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(-3)
The author of this article never saw a [user Braxton:profile] site:

[b]Man Animates Joke About Tortilla Chips Told By His Drunk Wife[/b]
http://www.uproxx.com/webculture/2013/05/adam-patch-animated-joke/

"Since the beginning of time writers, thinkers, philosophers, etc. have tried to quantify love, to put a price tag on it, if you will. To establish a standard for measuring it. Many have come up with hypothetical situations along the line of “would you take a bullet for this person” or “would you run into a burning building to try to save this person,” etc. All of those are horsesh*t, effective now.

Why? Because I’m pretty sure I have discovered the definitive standard measurement for love, and it is this: 1) recording your drunk-on-wine significant other drunkenly tell a corny joke and 2) cleverly animating that joke for all the world to see and hear on the internet. If you are not willing to do these things for someone — just as Adam Patch did — well, you just don’t love them. That is all.

Well done, Mr. Patch."
December 16th, 2013
294th
(-2)
It's been quiet in The Swamp...

http://biggator5.net/2013/05/30/hobbes-and-bacon/
January 27th, 2014
302nd
(0)
My account turned 8 last thursday. Happy belated birthday account! :)
February 3rd, 2014
306th
(0)
congrats!
February 20th, 2014
311th
(1)
srs, max...wtf
March 21st, 2016
310th
(0)
I will remake some legendary YTMND sites as YouTube videos.

Because I am a YTMND afficianado.

http://tinyurl.com/YouTubeMND

OPERATION YOUTUBE MND
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