Great job; hilarious. Couple of minor suggestions, though: you seemed to correct the bad grammar/spelling while reading it. For example the first "bastert" was pronounced just like "bastard" but with a little more emphasis on the "st." The sentence "she the one who put me to do this" was said as "she the one who put me up to this." And a lot of the run-on sentences were given the appropriate pauses as if the periods and commas were there anyway. The chuckling I thought was fine. Anyway, very funny stuff.