OWEN WILSON WANTED: Looking for someone to slit my wrists with. Bring your own razorblade. Safety is not guaranteed.

+2

don't forget the pills.

+2

Just go to Hot Topic. You'll find plenty of people there to slit your wrists with.

-1

ur an hero

-2

I have only done this once before.

wtf

Looks like Owen had a case of the Slurms McKenzie. He was just so tired of partying all the time.

+11

he's been high on mescaline all day.

+3

He was indeed. Very much so.

+1

Looks like Owen has a case of the Mondays.

+5

Can't we just stay in and watch a movie??

+1

He should try again and remember: down the road, not across the street kids.

-3

Oh, well, if Perez Hilton reported it, it must be true.

+8

so did Fox News, so its equally possible he actually went to Chuck E Cheese and had a great day.

+7

The impeccable credentials of the National Enquirer and Star magazine as journals of record are the only verification *I* need.

+1

granted. it should be noted though Owen hasn't denied the rumors. His statement was only "I respectfully ask that the media allow me to receive care and heal in private during this difficult time."

+1

Those Nike Air's were made for jumpin.

+7

-1 for slightly bad taste. Of course it's unavoidable, but who cares, 1 vote makes no difference anyway.

Thats not true, the first robot president won by a single vote.

+1

NAW, BAD TASTE ON YTMND? Where do you get these crazy ideas...

gb2church f*ggot. we dont want ur moraly types here.

Suicide's not funny. It's nothing against you MattressMan.

-5

Yeah it is. 'i told u i was hardcore' is possibly one of the funniest suicides in history.

An hero = highlight of the internet

-1

The suicides that arent funny are the successful ones. Most suicidals are just attention whores. Except "Suicide Girls". Those are just whores.

Those scources are so credible it's scary.

+1

Topical....

5 for Queen

+4

man. but hilarious.

I thought this would be a Dream Theater site.

Movie salaries Shanghai Noon (2000) $4,000,000 Behind Enemy Lines (2001) $3,000,000 Zoolander (2001) $2,000,000 Starsky & Hutch (2004) $10,000,000 Wedding Crashers (2005) $10,000,000 You, Me and Dupree (2006) $15,000,000 Cars (2006) $4,000,000

-1

If anything can cure a good case of the suicides, it is Queen

At last.

he was probably depressed about the shape of his nose

lolo

-1

this is actually funny, unlike your other recent site

+1

Lol current events.

C'mon guys, this is serious. He almost killed himself! And because of that, I think you need to add blood near his wrists.

-1

I'm reading don't kill myself books.

no owen don't do it!

OMG pretty people (sans nose) don't have perfect lives because money doesn't buy happiness (read between the lines... owen ran out of money or his favorite hooker skipped town) wtf. just kidding this site is very insensitive and I am offended. You should all be ashamed.

-2

this guys f*ggot movies fail so much. i wish this goofy nosed cracker died.

-3

I remember hearing that Owen made this statement about wanting privacy...because the news made it public.

+1

How ironic. :D

+1

What would we ever do without Owen Wilson in our lives? *crickets chirp*

+2

Nothing fails more then failing to commit suicide. Especially a suicide where everyone knows you attempted it and failed.

-1

5'd for making fun of this piece of sh*t passing for a human being.

-1

5* for Keywords!

I loled.

LOL