that's effing ridiculous... it's not even a spoiler 'cause it's so damn funny

+9

Hm.. I'm gonna Comment Combo-Breaker myself to say... Wtf?

+3

SPOILER!!! Malfoy date rapes Harry!!!!!

+12

no but i'll take a one and shove it up your f*cking *ss jizzmotron

"SPOILER!!! Malfoy date rapes Harry!!!!!" Hmm, you can't rape the willing, though.

+1

Hagrid date rapes the owl.

+2

this has a video that goes with it which is much funnier and realistic. this is just a lame sound grab from that video.

im...confused, maybe all the people who want to do hermoine can finally see some.

+3

You mean "read". Except all those fanboys probably will be making flashes and sh*t about it

i hope its that ginger kid

+17

you read my mind...

sounds real!

+3

i mean, the newscast does, good job

+2

um, look at the audio origin.

+2

Hm...I'm interested now. Is this real?

+2

I've never picked up a Potter book based on the genre. Wow does this ever reward me for that. She sounds like an awful author.

-4

Heh, you actually believed this? GTFO, come back when your IQ is over 60.

+2

it is thixy one, you tell now?

5'd because people think this is real.

+6

LOL. Yea, date rape. That's likely. Oh man this is rad

+3

bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

BZAT!

rape isn't funny. and for that, you get 5

+8

While this is f*cking helarious (as is my spelling), its from The Onion, and therefore fake... 5'd anyways

+3

Rape is always funny. 5'd.

+2

great loop.

Snape rapes Dumbledore('s dead corpse)

+10

Harry date rapes snape!

+3

Snape date rapes Grape Ape on videotape! Snape makes escape with mouth agape.

+27

^ I might just 5 all your sites for that.

+1

Boy I'm glad I checked the comments on this site. Funny sh*t.

+1

Snape ate grape scotch tape under cape and escapes in great shape then picks out new drapes while being videotaped?

-2

Also, lol for a +13 comment from someone who 1'd.

-1

sounds very very real and believable, thanks for posting

This is the best news I've heard in a long time. And I don't even like Harry Potter at all.

+2

Can't wait for the movie. +1

+3

what?? no....

-1

Hermione rapes Ron

+4

Hagrid rapes Snape.

+4

you are correct, sir!

I do NOT believe this. If I read this in the actual book, I STILL won't believe it ... because it won't be real then, either.

+2

5'd for making me look up if it was real. really funny though

+2

it's funny that they purposely draw the kid on the cover now to look exactly like the actor in the movies

+2

Canon date rapes Hermione.

+1

Actually, the 5th chapter is called: Fallen Warrior

-1

Okay I have to give this a 5. Simply because, wow and LOL. I will probably read the book just for that.

+1

Dobby rapes a centaur.

+1

HARRY GONNA GET RAPED

+1

i lol'd

-1

Holy sh*t if this is real, swear to GOD I will find a way to sponsor this.

Dude. It's not real. LOL

+2

Who gives a f*ck.

Look at the audio source.

WTF

The Onion FTW.

rawr

Emma Watson is in for a surprise!

+1

Hagrid rapes Ron.

Also Snape kills Dumbledore. Again.

+1

LOOK AT THE DAMN AUDIO SOURCE

Oooo yes!

u must be 12

-2

Try again.

But I poop from there

more like But I Cast spells from there

is this real?

Look at the freaking audio source! It's a fake!!!

-1

Harry rapes Dobby

I see what you did there: Nothing.

+3

Oh man, now I have to get the book.

I've already read the book and it's no big deal... Neville Longbottom rapes his own right hand.

+1

How is he gonna take is right hand on a date? O wait Nm....

DATE RAPE! nadadada nadadada nadadada nadadada

+1

Did she who..OR WHAT...HER...date rapist would be? Is she implying that maybe A GIRL wil be raped by A CREATURE?

Remember, kids, it's not rape if you yell "SURPRISE!" first!

+1

"Who or what!?!?"

Ron will rape Harry.

SNAPE RAPED DUMBLERDORE PG 607

+2

TO THE GOLDMINE WITH THIS ONE!

stolen http://www.theonion.com/content/video/j_k_rowling_hints_at_harry_potter

-3

Or you could just look in the at the sound origin, which explains it all.

+4

He just surprise took it.

[]_[]-b

That was a funny Onion broadcast.

OLD NEWS, why bother posting this now?

ahahaha

well it is the onion also, she's obviously been reading too much of her own fanfiction

my dick is hard just thinking about it

eheheh child's book......

Hermione rapes Hagrid.

+1

ROFL THE ONION FTW!

Holy sh*t! I just read other comments and someone already said just about the same thing. O_O

Necrophelia?

Brian Peppers makes a cameo appearance

+3

Wait...what?! There must be some sort of problem translating between UK English and US English here...there could be no other explaination!

Ahhh...its from the Onion, LOLerific!

I loved that onion video haha

ass

"That's no good!" - Sonic

This made me laugh so hard.

Gotta love the onion...

blood on the cloak??? that's so wrong.

Yea that can't be right

Snape rapes Dumbledore!

+1

Damn you. I need to read comments before I post.

SNAPE RAPES DUMBLEDORE! ... Sh*t, is it too soon?

no sound from the right speaker = fail

rape is never funny, unless you're raping a clown

theonion.

also Pennywise the Clown steals the kids and flesh f*cks them in his lair underneath Hagrid's hut