Pull out my glock and cap every one of those fools except for one because I need to play bball with someone

+42

That sounds about right.

+9

Yessir.

-2

agreed.

-4

Make MOre w/ possible combinations then list the other sites.v

+3

Yes indeed.

-1

yessir

-1

Check +

-2

Tru dat

-1

That's most certainly what *I* would do in that situation.

+1

LOL

+2

this is most popular and i dont like to feel left out

-2

Troof

+1

and make sure that one sucks at basketball

M-M-M-M-M-MONSTER WIN!

+2

"I stay in my bronx apartment and continue surfing YTMND."

+8

that wat i would do

-2

same.

-1

Aye.

-1

Y is the bronx ppl telling me 2 sneak in the neighborhood petophile's house? I'd tell them, in the street terms btw, I'll do it when you tell me what state europe is next to.

-3

I vote four, that's what I do

+1

lol, reply

-3

Fall under the peer pressure and sneak inside the apartment, but then all of a sudden a huge...!!!

He goes for it, when he goes in he finds the old man dead on the floor from a heart attack, does he or does he not steal his bucket of fried chicken?

OR, he could go in and steal his wallet while he sleeps, then he says it was the most amazing rush he ever felt in his life, to which Mouth peplies " I BET IT WAS EVEN MORE AMAZING THAN THE TIME YOU ATE WEIGHT AND GOT FATHERS PIZZA"

-3

EAT SOME CORNS AND BEANSBREAD

-3

i would double dog dare my friend to do it instead, duh

-1

I would wait for the black kids to go in and call the kkk and burn the apartment down and then me and the kkk are singing "NaNaNa Hey Hey Hey Cornbread"

-1

He says something random, then teleports a spaceship.

-3

teleports onto a spaceship^

-3

get raped by the old man

+5

The reclusive man is most likely brian peppers; I agree.

+2

hahaha oldschool text-based rpgs ftw!

+2

anyway, on to my path: I would tell my peers to go f*ck themselves and go home and go onto ytmnd, where strangely enough, I find a webpage called ytmnd text adventure that tells me what move I should take as the protagonist...

+2

I would steal his bike.

+53

winning

-2

!!!

-1

DEFINITELY or, have my bike stolen by the old recluse

-1

-1

"You sneak in, and carefully place a pile of sh** on the old man while he is sleeping, he wakes up with a gun..."

-6 [show comment][hide comment]

I would go in and be suprised that he can help me, then I turn around and . . . learn

-2

decide to go in, you make up the rest

+1

ITS A TRAP!

+1

Ask one of the local blackies if they would kindly shove a fork up my ass.

-5

The old man wakes up and says, "Come up with your own f*cking idea for a YTMND!!!"

-3 [show comment][hide comment]

DING DSING DING WINNRAR! I wanna se where it goes from there.

-3

He fixes the cable?

-2

You DO A BARREL ROLL

+1

Make friends and ask him to tell me war stories, oh boy!

good enough in my book

-2

You come in and you see him eating a baby.

-1

i stay home, turn on some internets, and let it work its magic, while the neighbors wonder what that fapping sound from my apartment is.

-1

Fap fap fap fap

-1

perhaps chris hansen is in the apartment, i would say. And then maybe cloud strife can be there too. I'd like that.

-2

go east door

+2

Sure I'd go in. I want to know if it's J. D. Salinger.

I get it.

Offer to cook the old man a delightful meal of beans and cornbread.

+2

I stroll in with my chest well oiled. I slip the old man a mickey and take advantage. I begin my insterting my large, throbbing c*ck into his mouth, slowly easing my way down his trachea. I begin to unzip the old man's pants. Quickly I grip onto his already depleting erection, I begin pumping away while he sucks my c*ck. The old man's nurse comes in, face like a rhino, starts fingering me in the ass. I ejaculate imeediatly and zip up. I go outside and play basketball with my friends.

+12

and this f*ggot never made a ytmnd :(

-3

YOURRA CHARGIN UP YAH LAZERS YOURRA FIRIN YAH LAZERS SHOOP DA WOOP

-2

Official deadline for submissions 2007-03-27 20:09:50 CDT

+1

GO IN. BOLT DOOR.

-3

xyzzy

-2

Nobody gets this reference? Ah screw all of ya!

Duh, stick it in his butt and pee.

-1

I ACCEPT THE DARE! Sneak into the Old Man's Appartment.

+2

Ninjas like sneaking, I accept the challenge.

I go in, he couldn't be a pedophile, could he?

GET YE FLASK

+4

Sorry, you cannot get ye flask

+7

I just have to imagine why on earth I can't get ye flask

-2

It's like attacking the darkness...you just can't do it.

-2

It's so creative.

-3

you Punch the Keys for God's Sake!

-4

Yeah... why don;t we follow finding forester and go inside and show our awesome writings just so we get to hear an old man exclaim "You're the man now dog"!

Get eaten by a grue.

Yeah, it'll happen eventually anyway.

-2

Do nothing...that usually makes that happen...

-2

ha!

-3

I put on my robe and wizard hat

+38

lol

-2

+ vote for u

-2

Rhinos don't f*ck around. They f*cking charge your ass.

-4

Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal. King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

+2

LOL! I want to see this one

-2

This is better.

-2

Black mages are powerful indeed.

-1

yea get old school on that fool

+1

o yes i like the cold war theme, thats outrageous

i cast magic missile

yesss

I enter the apartment, hoping to start a fulfilling literary journey in which I may be asked to punch the keys, for God's sake.

+4

i would grab my black buttcheeks spread em and shove the old man's face into my goatse

You go into the apartment cause thats where Connery lives.

+1

second.

+2

You pop a cap in the nearest five oh because he looked at you funny. Then you meet with Sir Connery.

+2

I chill out lax and relax all cool and shoot some b-ball out side of da school till a couple of guys, who were up to no good, started making trouble in the neighborhood, I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said, "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-air"

+18

Pick this

+1

Hah, effin' plus.

+1

I'd break into his apartment and stab him in the face with a soldering iron.

-2

One thing I wouldn't do is forget polend.

-1

winner

take a dump

I sneak in to find Father-McKenzie masterbating with a cheese grater to loli furry porn

-1

You live up to your login name

half of this is correct

+1

Go up; save; remove pants; open door; enter door; close door; lock door; lie on floor

-1

Login to his YTMND account and upvote all my sites.

+2

But then again I don't know syncan's password.

-3

say yoho

CHAPTER TWO NEEDS A CAMEO BY STEPHANIE OR ELSE YOURE GETTING SERVED

-2

this is what you should have done: http://thisoneismuchbetter.ytmnd.com/

Simple. Study god damn hard, working part time to pay university studies. Then I make a megacorporation and sell overpriced software. Then I can bang all the ladies I want and piss off the little kids that had nothing better to do.

waste that old man

-1

Listen to Olmec....he'll guide you through the whole operation.

+3

all right, I will. Thank you.

-1

He enters the old man's apartment cautiously. The old man greets him. He tells the student that to be a successful writer, he must first be creative. A brief montage ensues. Finally, the student is able to create a flawless ytmnd by the instruction of none other than the father of all fads, Sir Thomas Sean Connery.

+4

yes!

+1

...Or something along those lines...

-1

Because I have a secret fetish for old men with deep Scottish accents I sneak into the building and immediately get a raging hard-on upon the sight of the recluse. In embarrassment I drop my bag full of fantasy sex stories and run down the stairs. I immediately get home and have a circle jerk with my brother Vanila Ice Cube Tea.

-1

Also because I am a poor black kid living in the Bronx after our voracious circle jerk me and my brother go to KFC where I proceed to rub chicken all over a rich white man's BMW.

-2

I would eat some cheese that I found in my pocket, and my head would explode.

+1

Instead of doing that, you knock on the door, hand him 1 star and say "you fail , please try again ^_^"

-1

I'd shoot my peers. F*ck em.

http://thiswillliventhingsup.ytmnd.com/

You walk inside the old man's house and he's raping a little girl. You stop him and become a hero. Just kidding. You join the rapist and destroy that little girls uterus. Great success.

I think you should make this like a "Choose your own adventure" YTMND. In the description, have links to like 3 different ytmnd's that each follow a seperate path.

+2

That was my original intention. It would have been too much work for me, so the YTMNDers who suggested the actions would make them themselves. I made a ytmnd earlier today asking people if they were willing to participate in an interactive YTMND project, but it was met with derision. So I made this instead.

+1

Apparently I'd remake "Good Will Hunting", "Dead Poets Society" and other feel good education-themed movies, only with a black protagonist.

+1

Get a whip and call your self Indiana Jones.

+1

F**k it, I'd say that I'll go in there. But instead, I'd actually videotape me going into a decoy house and find a dude dressed up as Brian Peppers there. I (pretend to) beat the s**t out of him and run off. The kids think I'm a god......*crickets chirping*....hey, I tried. lol.

-1

I would throw something off the top of my big *ss castle, scaring the sh*t out of Catherine Zeta Jones

+1

-3

FINDING FORESTER FINDING FORESTER FINDING FORESTER FINDING FORESTER FINDING FORESTER FINDING FORESTER

I move in with my auntie and my uncle in BelAir

+2

Do it!!

-1

-downvote this sh*tty site

-3

steal a bike

-2

Bite off a kid's head and scream "WRYYYYYYYY!"

F, Buy some chicken.

+1

actually, scratch that. say: "Fudge off, F*cker."

-1

I'd do..whatever happened in Finding Forrester. Then school Sean Connery in basketball even though I'm horrible.

-2

Yeah, 4. That works. Thanks, wang.

-1

suck dick for coke?

i would finish masturbating then after all the little nigglets think im too scared i would go in the house dressed as a woman, a black woman, automatically thought of as a crackwhore and as i see the old man i ask him if he wants a suck or if he has any PCP. i would then suck his old manc*ck and save the semen to then cover my black friends in as proof that i sucked that man's c*ck.

-2

Is the old man Sean Conery?

-3

" In West Philadelphia born and raised On the playground is where I spent most of my days Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool and all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school" Well anyhoo, I would take the dare and end up living with my rich Aunt and Uncle in another town.

-2

Beat ya too it. 2007-03-26 21:00:15 "I chill out lax and relax all cool and shoot some b-ball out side of da school till a couple of guys, who were up to no good, started making trouble in the neighborhood, I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said, "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-air"... Also c*cks

-3

although... it is worded a little differant bah, I'll allow it.

-3

Drats.

-3

PUT ON MI WIZZIRD RooooooBE and HAT

-3

I don't feel like being shot by a schizophrenic old man registered with the NRA, so the playground is where I spend most of my days. Then a couple of guys, who were up to no good, starting making trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, and said "You're moving with your aunt and uncle to Bel-Air".

-1

lol... see above.

-2

Although it is well worded. Kinda like buttsecks.

-3

id make a polandize version of this ytmnd

Realize that this old man may or may not be in fact J.D. Salinger, smirk to myself, and return home and wonder. The next day, I begin to hustle b-ball in the other boroughs and start making enough money to buy a gold statue replica of Fred Astaire.

-2

No way dudes, that's the 60 year old man's house that made a kid f*ck him in the *ss in front of his kids.

-2

You decide to consult YTMND and find a sh*tty site called YTMND text adventure! and blow off your black friends and write an extended tirade about how stupid this idea is and how it is merely a front to get yourself on the front page supported by 13 year olds who think that if their idea gets the most votes and you make another site that they will become famous and their parents will get back together and Susie will like the, but we all know that Susie is a stuck up whore and this site sucks.

-5 [show comment][hide comment]

I log onto my 24kb/s connection, go to YTMND.com and sponsor OMGAGURL.ytmnd.com with $500?

-1

Go in the Apartment. Meet Sean Connery. Wait until he says "Punch the Keys for God's Sake". Then kill him. Then This YTMND doesn't exist. Then, Time Paradox. Rinse and Repeat.

Break a plank of wood off a fence, whittle it into a stake, and convince Fat Albert and the gang that the old man is a vampire who needs to die.

-2

lol, Finding Forrester...

-2

masturbate to pr0n

+1

He gets raped by me but learns lessons about living and goes on to turn NEw York into a chocolate city.

-3

Go north.

-2

I will hand him a ticket to Harlem

-2

I would tell them, "No, guys. I need to study. I want to be an engineer, and I can't be getting into any trouble. If I am arrested for a break-in and entry, how will that effect my chances of getting into college?" LOL, like a black high school student in the bronx would ever say that!

-2

I would first master the art of Punching the Keys (For God's Sake).

-2

This might go over better if you gave us options to chose from. As of right now, though, I say we go on and take that dare. I'm a man.

-2

You could start by running to the room of the three gargoyles, push in the right tongue, and a door might lead you down a staircase into the wall climb, here you must choose your next path, you could race up to the observatory, spin the sun dial and pass into the room of the golden idols. Once there push on their bases to release the doors, that may take you below or lead you into the shrine of the silver monkey. Assemble the statue and you may be headed for the torch room. If the elevator is up you may jum

-2

I put on my pink jumpsuit and..

-2

Oh shoot. Choose Your Own Adventure YTMND!

-2

Oh okay, got it. Reclusive old man tells him, "IT'S GON' RAIN!"

-2

Throw the old bastard on the floor and ask where he is stashing the keys at.

-2

do nothing

-2

pull out giant cat-penis, shoot bullets out of it into a grocery store full of asians. miss everyone, then smear peanut butter all over your nipples and start dancing with robin williams, whos body is made entirely from tangerines. great idea, btw.

-2

you become Allen Iverson or Shaq maybe even LeBron James or Michael Jordan but we all know hes from NC now thats racist.

-2

I'd agree to go as long as they come with. :)

-2

I'd go watch the movie where the line "You're the man now dog" comes from and see what THAT kid would do.

-3

my good sir, I would grab some glow sticks, a DJ, and some food, and start the largest house party known to mankind, in the old man's bed room.

-2

>steal bike

-2

Hit him with my horn, dog, and take his money.

-2

Put on my robe and wizard hat....

-2

5 BECAUSE I WORKED CONSTRUCTION OVER THE SUMMER AT THIS VERY SCHOOL

-1

I choose to go into the apartment and see whats the matter,then try to avoid the old,reclusive old man.

I would go into the apartment and leave my backpack there.

+3

break into his apartment, discover he is wilford brimley, then join him in burning waffles and lamenting the evils of the diabeatis

Go find Forester...

+1

So this text adventure is basically just a remake of Find Forester?

+1

Open the mailbox... Take the leaflet...

+1

"I stay in my bronx apartment and continue surfing YTMND."

-1

Run into the apartment and blast the old man with a water gun, he transforms into a Snorlax pokemon, gets well annoyed, then mcguyver comes along, with his assistant milton and using the golden stapler of Dragonball z, Staple his *ss to the floor then watch as picard comes in and blasts him with his tommy gun. You then go and have fun with stephanie from lazy town

Ill make a ytmnd and ask what to do!

-1

wow all the top vote getters are so derivative

-1

This is new.

-1

open door THEN talk man --- lol old school text adventures --- seriously though, as YTMND-related as DeltaJerk's suggestion is, BallsDeVito's is funnier.

Gah, now Max needs to add an edit comment feature. I meant fad-related.

-1

-1

He goes in, finds the old man making beans and cornbread, and decides to settle down for what his people have given him.

-2

I steal their bike.

-1

I would put on a Nixon mask and go inside and rape the sh*t out of the old man, then Id be all like "I AM NOT A CROOK" when I climaxed inside his ass. Then Id take off the mask and Id be Michael Wolfson and be all like "LOL TROLLED!" Then Id bust the f*cking condom on his chest and leave him feeling used.

-1

I would find Forrester and take him back to Ireland. Scotland, for God's sake.

-1

I would go round to max's place and force him to fix the comment ratings so they actually save when you click them.

A.) Sneak into the old man's apartment B.) Go rob a gas station C.) Blow your Idaho trumpet and summon the white horsemen from on high to rid the projects of hyphonated cultures

+1

He goes in. The man jumps in front of him from around a corner and says "You're the man now, dog!"

+2

i would break into his house and rape the old man

-2

Commit suicide

-3

GET basketball LOOK shoes

-2

I'll beat my friends up and then run away to the cafeteria.

-3

LOlolOLoLolOlOl

-3

I put on my wizard hat and blue robe.. and cast level 11 C*CK OF THE INFINITE!! Oh.. this is the wrong website, thought I was still on bash.

-3

Go to the old mans house, but bring a Molotov c*cktail, and the script to the best story you have ever written (double spaced, 12 pt font, with a CD backup with PDF format).

-1

Walk into the old man's apartment only to discover Lemon Party. ARRRGGHHHHH!

>be the man now dog I'm sorry, that's not a valid command. >f*ck you william! That's not very nice. >... chicken and watermelon Yes, yes! You're the man now dog!

-1

get flask

He walks in the apartment only to be greeted Sean Connery himself. From there Sean helps him to read and learn and stay on the right path. Accordingly turning out to be "the man. Dog."

-1

5 for innovative idea.

-1

meets sean connery who gives him the old "you have the manner of a goat, and you smell like a donkey" before pushing him out of the window. When Sean later gets arrested for accused racialy motivated crime and is asked by the judge how he pleads, he says "personally I think your a f*cking idiot" then proceeding the cap everyone in the room.

-1

******** throw baby into lake*******

-1

Remembering that a convicted child molester with an odd facial deformity has recently escaped from a nearby prison, you procede to survey the complex carefully. That's when a wild Ekans appears.

-1

Sneak into the apartment. P.S: Nice idea for a ytmnd.

-1

Why would he sneak into an old guy's apartment? Will that suddenly make him not suck at writing or basketball?

-1

YOU ARE ATTACKED BY BRIAN PEPPERS, YOU RESPOND WITH SHOE ON HEAD. YES....YES!!!

-1

I put on my wizard hat and robes.

-1

go in when the man is asleep and rape him up the butt and then steal his dentures

-1

Move rug, Open trap door... turn on lantern! Don't want to be eaten by grue you know...

-1

Steal a bike and ride far far away to somewhere where I can do what I've always wanted...

-1

Isn't this kid a character from that lame movie "Crossover" with Wayne Brady?

-1

get gay

-1

Have an epiphany and shoot myself for being a f*cking n*gg*r

-1

kinda dumb, sorry :D

-1

Rob his house, because that's what black kids do.

-1

5 because i think this gave me an idea

-1

Sneak into the apartment and rape Sean Connery. Make sure there's lots of "YES YES!"

+2

HE SHOULD SUMMON CTHULHU!!!

-1

I'll break into the apartment, because the stories about him aren't true. Sure, he's a miserable old bastard, but he wears his socks inside out and uses real milk in his tomato soup, giving it a pretty skin on the top. He also wrote a book once and then went into hiding. So now, he's looking for a talented young brother, such as myself, to teach things to and to go to football games with. He also likes to use racially innappropriate slang such as 'YOU'RE THE MAN NOW, DOG!' I win. :)

-1

I battle a Giant Enemy Crab.

-1

I'd sneak in King-Style then poop on his chest.

-1

go make love to every one of dey mothas

-1

I'd just PUNCH THE KEYS FOR GOD'S SAKE!

-1

You sneak into the apartment and find that the old man is actually a "hologram" of God that only you can see, and he tells you to find three lost relics, one of which is found in Lindsay Lohan's pussy. You get the relics and Lohan and God grants you one wish: You wish that Lohan "OH" face expression wouldn't change. The end. Now...is that PS 89 by any chance?

You find out that the old man isn't there at the moment, but you see a dead giant enemy crab and flip it over to find $599 US dollars.

-1

serve corn and beansbread.

-1

Throw baby

I said that on page one, but nobody picked up on the joke there either....

+1

peasents quest refrence :)

MORE LIKE RATHER HOMELY! >.>